I can’t believe I’m back here already… It seems like just yesterday I was TTC for the first time. P is 13 months old, and if I’m going to be successful with my 2 year gap plan, it’s time to get back on the horse.
If you’ve not followed my journey, we tried unsuccessfully for 7 months for our first baby and got lucky on our 8th cycle. The 8th cycle was our 1st medicated cycle, 100 mg of Clomid gave me my sweet little P. I went back to my OB/GYN last month and got the all clear to get started on #2. She went ahead and prescribed 100 mg of Clomid and told me she had no problem with going straight to meds since I would probably need it anyway. Clomid made me a crazy bitch last time around. There’s no sugar coating it, it made me insane… I beat my dog and I will probably never forgive myself for that. So, naturally I’m not looking forward to taking Clomid again. I decided to try 1 unmedicated cycle before going back on fertility meds.
So that’s where we’re at. I’m on cycle day 8, and expect to ovulate on the 29th. We started bd’ing last night (and this morning :)) , and plan to continue every other day. AF should come on Feb. 12th… So hopefully I will get a precious little V-Day gift with a BFP! I’m very hopeful, but I don’t expect this month to be successful. It would be amazing if it were that easy, but I don’t expect it to work out that way. You will probably be hearing about my Clomid confessions next month! I’ve not taken an OPK since last time I was TTC so we are going on the assumption that I am still ovulating on my own. I will have blood work on cycle day 21 to confirm that! I’m going to do my best to keep you updated on this journey, but life with P gets pretty crazy!!!
My friends without kids often ask me what it’s like to be a mom… That isn’t a question I can answer with a quick reply. I usually give a generic response, but today I’m going to take the time to answer it to the best of my ability.
-Being a mom is everything.
-Being a mom is bittersweet.
-Being a mom is giving up the last bite of your favorite piece of cake because your beautiful little boy wants a “bite bite”
-Being a mom is watching your amazing creation take his first steps with so much pride you could bust, but wishing he wasn’t growing up so fast
-Being a mom is a full time job with no holidays or sick days
-Being a mom is spending more money than you have to make sure their 1st birthday is perfect
-Being a mom is amazing. Every single day.
-Being a mom is having a panic attack because their fever is 102.8 and their pedi is on vacation
-Being a mom is sacrifice
-Being a mom is a privilege
-Being a mom is watching Mickey Mouse for 6 straight hours because there’s nothing more precious than the way their eyes light up when Mickey walks over the little hill
-Being a mom is giving up your pillow because they sleep better in your spot
-Being a mom is seeing the world through different eyes
-Being a mom is growing a giant set of balls because you’re the only defense your child has in the world
-Being a mom is having a dishwasher full of coffee cups and bottles
-Being a mom is waking up early and wishing they were up so you could play in the bed
-Being a mom is crying at the end of a long weekend from work because you can’t imagine leaving them again
-Being a mom is leaving your comfort zone and taking scary chances for the sake of a better life for your family
-Being a mom is knowing there will never be a better feeling than being the only one that can stop their tears
-Being a mom is being heartbroken knowing there will be a day when you won’t be able to stop their tears
-Being a mom is hard as hell
-Being a mom is the single most rewarding thing I’ve ever done in my life
-Being a mom is tearing up when you see a new mommy holding her baby for the first time, because you know how quickly the time passes
-Being a mom is wanting to do the best you can in all aspects of your life to make sure you provide the best life you can for your child
-Being a mom is becoming selfless
-Being a mom is spending your last $20 on diapers and eating soup for lunch til payday so they don’t have to use the cheap emergency diapers
-Being a mom is putting them first, always.
-Being a mom is knowing your life will never be the same, and thanking God for allowing you to bring your perfect child into the world.
-Being a mom is taking too many pictures because you know you won’t ever live this moment again
-Being a mom is something you can’t describe in a few sentences. Its something you have to experience to understand.
We have decided we definitely want to welcome a new baby sooner, rather than later. The company I work for gives all vacation/sick/personal time on January 1st. So, I would like to go on maternity leave as close to the end of the year, without going into the new year as possible… If that makes any sense. With P I was on maternity leave from December 1st to January 28th and lost all of my paid time off. That made the past year really difficult since I didn’t want to miss any of his first Dr appointments, or leave him when he was sick. Definitely not making that mistake again! The second factor in the plan is the Aflac policy I just took out, that goes into effect on January 1st. According to my Aflac rep, if I give birth after November 1st of 2016 I will be covered for the birth and hospital stay, and get a nice payout!
So, if I’m going to have a baby in 2016 it needs to be a November baby. Which makes February the month I will need to conceive. Since P was a 1st try Clomid baby I’m praying I will have the same luck this time around… I really want to get pregnant in February. P would be 23 months old when the new baby arrived, which is as close to perfect as you can get to the 2 year age gap I’ve always imagined my babies would have. I can’t believe I’m about to start this journey again already, but I’m thrilled about the possibility of baby #2!
I catch myself saying things to P (and my husband) on a daily basis that I literally can’t believe have to be said. You would think most of these things should go without saying, but not when you have a crazy baby boy and a husband like mine!!! There’s much more I could add to this list, and I’m sure there’s gonna be a lot more to add in the future!
-“Do NOT put her tail in your mouth!!!”
-“Get out of the dishwasher NOW!”
-“Please stop pulling on your bird!”
-“Get off of her head!”
-“Stop trying to eat the garbage!”
-“Please quit calling your mamaw!” (she’s on speed dial, he’s not a child genius…that I know of)
-“You know that’s not buttpaste around your mouth… You know not!”
-“He can’t have chimichangas!”
-“No…we can’t just scoot him to the other side of the bed!” (he’s sexually deprived)
-“I’m on my way, don’t pee on his head!!!!”
-“In his 2nd drawer… Where they have been for 11 months!” (in response to “Where’s his pants, I can’t find them anywhere!”)
Hubby and I have been tossing around the idea of baby #2 for a couple of months. He wants a bunch of kids (3+) and I only want 2. After P was born we decided to go with a 4 year age gap, so P would be starting school when baby #2 came along. My mother in law keeps P and my niece while hubby and I and my brother and sister in law work. So out of respect for our free babysitter, I think it would be best to wait til the oldest are starting school to have another. Clearly that plan isn’t going to work out… We have both realized we want our kids to be closer in age. Just how close we want them has yet to be determined.
I always imagined I would just know when it was time to have another baby, like I would check the mail and get a little postcard that said “Its that time!” or something… Apparently that’s not how it works? I’m truly in limbo about it. One day I’m consumed by baby fever and cry just thinking about a sweet little newborn, or a baby bump. Other days, the reality of life with 2 kids and a full time job gets me overwhelmed and I wonder if I could even handle it. Then I realize how much older P would be once the new baby arrived and it all seems so simple. We can afford a second child, and could swing daycare or another babysitter if we had to, so there is really nothing holding us back.
So here we are… NTNP. (That’s not trying, not preventing for you TTC newbs!) I guess we will see where this takes us, and let God and chance make this decision. 🙂
Over the last 10 months I’ve caught myself comparing the things my son does to a puppy on many occasions. The older he gets the more he gets like a puppy. I swear. It’s hilarious really! I’ve compiled this little list of his puppy-like tendencies for your amusement 🙂
1. He begs for food. Any time I eat a snack he stands or sits in front of me and looks at me with puppy dog eyes and wines til I share.
2. He pees in the floor. On occasion I have to take his diaper off for a few minutes (usually before bath time when I don’t have all my supplies together). As soon as I sit him down he pees in the floor, every single time.
3. He chews my shoes. We try to keep our shoes out of the rooms he plays in… But sometimes they get left out… it happens. When it does, he crawls just as fast as he can to chew on them before I catch him.
4. He loves to have his belly scratched. He will lay perfectly still just as long as you will scratch his belly!
5. He likes to play in the garbage can. Turn your back for 5 seconds (or heaven forbid go to the bathroom!) and he’s headed straight to the garbage!
So…. I’ve not written in a while because life. I’ve been spending my days working, and my evenings watching Mickey Mouse and cuddling. No real reason I couldn’t type a blog post, I just chose to live in the moment 🙂
We had not 1 but 2 babywearing photo sessions, which I will share soon (I swear!!) I’m almost done planning his 1st birthday party, and I’ve been trying to convince hubby it’s time for baby #2… He thinks I need to increase the dosage on my crazy meds! There isn’t a whole lot to update you on… But trust me, it’s pretty interesting around here!
P is 10 months old now, and amazing me every single day! He can stand by himself for a few seconds, he’s obsessed with chewing on ketchup and other things inside the refrigerator door every time I open it, he likes to climb in the dishwasher and he has learned to climb into my lap. He’s a very busy boy, and likes to get into 10 month old mischief! In fact, my papaw and his wife babysat one day last week and when my husband went to pick him up, my papaw informed him that “His name should have been Columbus, because he sure likes to explore!” Apparently he spent the day chasing their dogs, getting toys off of a shelf above his head in a closet and trying to climb the stairs.
So… if I’m MIA for another few weeks or so, someone check to make sure he hasn’t killed me!!