The Chestnut Conspiracy

As a mommy, we have a very protective instinct when it comes to our little ones. My mom always told me she had eyes in the back of her head, and she knew everything. I thought she was crazy until recently but I’m quickly realizing she was being serious.

I would like to assume everyone knows chestnuts grow on trees. But for the sake of clarification, chestnuts grow on trees encased in a spiky ball of love. Once they fall from the tree, they come out of their spiky ball and the actual nut is free to be eaten.


I was standing under a chestnut tree with my husband’s family having a nice little conversation, while wearing P. I heard leaves starting to rattle, and instinctively covered P’s head with my arm. Less than a second later a chesnut (encased in its spiky ball of love) slammed into my arm. It hurt. Badly. I screamed “F***!!!!!!!!!!” like the true lady that I am and everyone looked at me like I was crazy. After a minute or so it started to swell and bleed. The little spiky bastards from the “spiky ball of love” were stuck in my arm.

I had to take antibiotics because the spikes were embedded and started to get infected after a couple of days. Nine days later, I just removed the 29th spike. The moral of the story: we will do anything to keep our babies safe, even if it means taking a chestnut to the arm. Either that, or I’m prone to freak accidents and have horrible luck?



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